Over the past week or so during my trip to Colorado, i’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my business, my brand, and my message. (These are the things I think about on “vacation” - ha!)
I also realize that a majority of you found me through my previous blog posts or courses on Nutrition, which is why I felt like it was time to explain the real reason I stepped away from anything nutrition-related in my business.
As some of you may know, I struggled with anorexia and exercise addiction for many years prior to becoming an NTP. My food obsession took many different forms over the course of time - starting with low-calorie/deprivation, then to low-carb, then to high-fat, then to paleo. These “healthy” (yet still restrictive) ways of eating helped me feel much better than my previously malnourished counterpart, which led me to a career in Nutrition, to help others use food as a means of healing.
Looking back now though, i’m not 100% sure if my desire to work in the field of Nutrition was actually because I loved nutrition, or if because I SO wanted to hold onto my food obsession, even as I became healthier.
If i’ve learned anything in the past 2 years, it’s that once something no longer feels in right to me, I have to stop, immediately, or it eats at my soul. (Sounds dramatic, but it’s true)
So when I found myself constantly telling women what they should be eating “gluten free!” “avoid dairy” “avoid processed foods and stay away from sugar!” I started to feel completely out of alignment (and seriously icky).
The messages that I was telling other women to do to find health, were the exact reason that I was STILL unhealthy.
YES. I am an NTP and I STILL have health issues. And no, going on an elimination diet, or avoiding nightshades, or eating more fat or more carbs or taking out caffeine or supplementing with collagen and ashwaganda didn’t fix me. Trust me, i’ve tried.
What IS healthier for me? Having absolutely no restrictions on the food that I eat. Eating as much as I want, and sometimes more than I want. Eating gluten for breakfast, even though I know it’s not the “cleanest” option, and grabbing a sandwich at the airport because fast food is healthier for me than starving.
I’ve stepped away from talking about nutrition, because if i’m being honest, I thought that nutrition was THE WAY to perfect health. The way to success. The way to happiness. And as it turns out, focusing on nutrition accomplished none of those things.
Want to know what DID lead to success, happiness and improved health?
NOT caring so much about what I put in my mouth. Pursuing my passions. Prioritizing fun over exercise. Sharing my REAL life with people.
I SO badly wanted to blame my almost-lifelong battle with fatigue on the fact that I had leaky gut or some sort of obscure food sensitivity - but the truth is that my fatigue was being caused by years of hard work and obsession that were not in alignment with what REALLY sets my soul on fire.
How do I know? Because once I started my own business, moved to where I wanted to live, and followed my dreams of traveling the world, I haven’t felt fatigued. Not once. (Ok except that one time we stayed up until 4am in Paris, but….#worthit)
And just because I don’t talk about nutrition in the same, “mainstream” way anymore doesn’t mean that I will never talk about it again....
...But i’ve also come to accept the fact that maybe my nutrition “message” may not be mainstream, popular, or even helpful to most people - and that’s ok - because my message is not for everybody. I am not for everybody. And neither are you.
And I know there are a TON of women out there who feel exactly the same way that I do right now, that have tried every gut healing protocol and elimination diet, and that STILL don’t have energy, or get their period, or enjoy life because they are too concerned about what’s going in their mouth.
So for now, i’m over it. (Maybe forever, maybe not).
I am going to continue to focus on the things that light me up and energize me: talking about online business building, social media, minimalism, and travel. And when it comes to nutrition, i’m not using any labels. I’m going to eat what I want, when I want it, even though that scares the shit out of me.
Because i’ve learned that things that scare the shit out of you, usually have the best outcome.
Tell me: what is the "healthiest" thing for you?